I'm afraid to sound like an asshole on the Internet. I know, it sounds weird to see these words right after a post on calling other people's work bad. But I do, I really do.
I had some doubts before I wrote the last entry. Not just because people can take it out of context and add some meaning to it that wasn't there in the first place. I am very concerned about my perceived persona. In this day and age, you get familiar with a lot of people without ever making an eye contact. You just "at handle" them and, there, you have an acquaintance. Your internal voice, your thoughts translate into letter on a screen of some device, pass through wires and get to their screen. And at this point you have to realize: this text is their only reference of you.
Yeah, you hear yourself the same in your head when you type as when you talk. You are used to your emotional spectre and your speech patterns. You know how to control your expressions with voice and with your face. And most of the time you know jack shit about doing so with your fingers. Just imagine. Take your thoughts and remove everything but the words themselves. No mimicing. No subtle tone shifts. No eye rolling and not conforting smiles. Just plain words. The picture that you paint can be horrific on the receiving end.
So, yeah. I sometimes reread my messages and think about the way I was perceived. I'm not concerned about showing off my true colors, mind you. But I am concerned about leaving a wrong impression. It's a mistake, a misunderstanding. It's not what I've intended, and thus I don't want to leave everything at that. If you are lucky, you can catch yourself before anybody reads it. But most of the time even digital words are flying long and high and there is nothing to stop them from being received. At that point I can only hope that "I'm sorry, if I came of as an asshole" helps.
Does it?
There is a solution, though I'm uncertain it's good to promote it. You can always be mindful of your writing voice. Take care to read and reread before sending anything. Train yourself to be less expressive, to write in polite and simple manner. In time you can be as neutral as anybody can. Yet, it doesn't sit right with me. When you are misunderstood for your ambiguous tone, it is at least your voice. People who can imagine you talking will hear you correctly. But if you tone yourself down, will it even be your voice? Is it healthy to use a completely different voice just so people don't get a wrong impression? It depends on a time and a place, surely. And we are not talking about being less rude or racist or something like that. Just less like yourself, when words can sound unnecessarily angry or emotional.
On the other hand, shouldn't others be more understanding and acceptable too?